in the secret place

Day 100 of 365. – “Kites in a Storm”

coofee — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 16:05:59 +0000

Originally uploaded by ArchedRoof

Glorious in the midst of a storm.

Beauty can be found in a flash, even under gray skies.

twitter-ing

coofee — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 06:23:28 +0000

i checked my inbox and lo and behold! three strangers were following me on twitter. one was barackobama_44. come on! i love technology but sometimes it scares the wits out of me. and yeah, i do find myself controlling the urge to type in a particular name in the search page.

as soon as i find myself coming to this secret place and writing my thoughts away, i know i’m suffering from network-claustrophobia again. too many people in FB and multiply.

maybe william zinnser was right. writing (and yes, hiding) has deep psychological roots. i’m fine with the writing. i’m not just okay with the thought of the audience reading the fine prints of my heart.

okay, same old ramblings about privacy and all. this is getting old. but maybe, just maybe, i’ll retain my FB and multiply accounts.

a bloody solution

coofee — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 13:08:51 +0000

I was checking out a link from RzO on the economic crisis when my eyes were caught by Michelle Obama’s name on the CNN header. ooh, alongside China, Economy and other Hot Topics. it got me thinking about jackie o. Michelle O. and Jackie O.

I’d dare say that in times of crisis, the media comes up with an icon to “distract” or maybe a lighter term – an alternative picture: a beam of light in a dark room.

John and Jackie O. were both icons in the 60s. Civil rights movement, integration, Vietnam War, Fidel Castro, Cold War. It wasn’t just the US that was shaken up. It was a whole generation that needed someone to look up to.

The circumstances are different now and the players have changed colors, faces and scenes but the cry for an icon, a hero to save the day remains.

The Cold War is long gone. Thawed by the ever increasing temperature rise and dynamic geopolitical loyalties. Still, the economic pinch is there.

While American society and most nations and cultures have experienced a melding, an integration of sorts, the most fundamental issue still hits us across borders: religion. The war never stops inherited from centuries and long memories of hatred.

Will Barack and Michelle O. help “distract/entertain” the world’s public from the economy and the conflicts that rage within and among nations?

I don’t think so.

We are in a state of flux and entering a period of change that we have never ever seen before. Ooh, stating the obvious.

Hmm…I still think I have a better icon to save the day.:)

Invincible. Even death and the gates of hell could not stop this hero. Never did and never will.

No need for fashion, eloquence, or charisma (a writer described him as one who lacked charisma).

His solution for saving the world? No stimulus plans or G-20 summits.

His own blood and a wooden cross.

que sera sera?

coofee — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 07:54:31 +0000

for some reason, in the middle of a very busy morning, my lab/office mate threw me a volley of questions. some of them i really did not want to answer but could not resist thinking about them several days after. one question stuck. what do you really want to do?

what do i really want? he sang “que sera sera” after i told him i really didn’t know what to do anymore. all i know is that i don’t want to teach.

today, after a day and a half of watching countless movies in the net and surfing about climate change, underwater photography, ecology and other stuff, i’ve come up with quite a few things i’d love to do in my lifetime.

1. travel. go out and see the world. NYC is a dream destination. tubbataha or guiuan, samar. i would love to see the most cosmopolitan city and the wildest place at the same time – the untouched, un-commercialized.

2. write an article in a fashion magazine about identity, a woman’s struggle with body image and love (God’s love that frees)

3. write about the love of God that’s practical, down-to-earth and unreligious. one that the bum out in the streets can understand; something the employee trying to make ends meet can relate or even the sophisticated socialite who’s out partying every night will be able to hack it.

a love in its uttermost simplicity that can change a life.

4. marry and raise a family. now, i’ve put that out in the open. it’s been an open secret of mine. i don’t like talking about it for a few reasons.

5. work in the UN (NY hq) as a project coordinator or something like that.

6. give, give and give – whether it’s to someone i know or someone unidentified.

7. change the world. be the woman God created me to be. ever since I graduated from college, i had this consuming dream to change the world and touch lives.

so i guess these are just the few, my labmate. thanks for letting me think. and yeah, someday, maybe i’ll have the courage to put my thoughts out in the open just as you said so.

can’t hide it any longer!

coofee — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 13:44:46 +0000

Oh to be free…
to shout it out loud
from the rooftops
with the loudest of voice

To declare it to every one…
that I love you.

That every smile, every glimpse
every thought of you would
be written in plain sight
on the bed of blue skies

And no longer woven in the inside
scribbled in the secret place
but out in the open fields
out into the market place

Where everybody just needs a dose of love
yes, even a bit of it.
And I’ve lots of love deep within
a rushing river of love straight from the Source
that can’t be bottled, can’t be kept

A love so deep
A love that heals
A love that restores
A love that forgets and forgives an offense
A love that bears patiently.

I love you.

None of the Cebu-twitches

coofee — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 03:40:29 +0000

Yeah, we move on. God has a way of touching my heart. The familiar twitch is gone when I saw the Let the River Flow photos in Thea’s multiply. I’d be a liar if I’d say I didn’t wanna go but I’m learning to slowly (slowly) let the ties fall and accept that I’m here and my place is here. It’s a familiar struggle of mine. This homesickness, but seeing their beautiful smiles and joyful faces have made me appreciate God’s grace more and more in helping me accept where He has placed me.

Jim Elliot captured it so astutely when he said: “WHEREVER YOU ARE, BE ALL THERE.”

help me to believe

coofee — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 08:12:48 +0000

that it will all work out fine.

hiding in Him

coofee — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:17:58 +0000

Keep my heart tender, Lord. When the temptation to get angry rears its head against me, i pray that I will always remember how you responded when hurting words or angry shouts hit you while hanging there on that wooden cross.

Make me like Joseph who forgave those who threw him in the well and declared that everything worked for the good of everyone even those for who threw him there.

Make me just like You, Daddy.

Keep my heart tender and keep my tears in a bottle up there with YOu.

Seal my mouth with a strong strip of grace tape and let the words in my heart call out to You.

I will seek You and run to You and not towards that wall of anger.

I run to that golden throne with the rushing river where everything I need is there.

Coldplay

coofee — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:08:53 +0000

my Coldplay Clocks tone jolted me from my constant editing of my earlier post. i checked my phone.

i sometimes wonder if the other could read my mind or even know what i’m thinking.

probably. but really, it’s just nothing. no sense making something out of coldplay’s ringing. that’s just that.

dreams do come true

coofee — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:17:40 +0000

They say kids think of the most impossible things.

A snake swallowing a whole elephant.

A little man in love with a plant.

A chocolate river.

Lemonade-y raindrops.

A flying horse.

A princess marrying her prince at the right time.

Happily ever afters.

And in the middle of that fantasy world, life and people scream “Wake up!” Reality punches you hard.

Do dreams ever come true?

Sometimes the most impossible-dreamer kids grow up to be cynical realists. One crumbling dream sets off a domino effect of hopelessness and doubts. Maybe we’ll never see what no eye has ever seen or hear what no ear has ever heard. That may be just good for the books and dreams but not for life in the here and now.

But then the suddenlies of divine origin bolt in and things will never be status quo. Never. It changes…getting better one day at a time.

That’s when the wide-eyed wonder comes back. No longer the wishful thinking kind of dreaming but the believing-with-all-my-heart kind. Not with my head up there in the clouds but with feet planted on the Rock. Just because a broken man on a cross loved me deeply enough to make me believe again.

Promises do come to pass.